First Class

We booked our trip to Chicago so long ago with frequent flyer miles that they bumped us to first class. I'm not sure what computer glitch allows a passenger with "infant in arms" on their ticket to get the free pass to first class, but who I am to judge the Delta system.

They start boarding the plane as we walk to the gate and we realize that we haven't changed little bug's diaper. So I run off to the ladies room to change her 'quickly' before we board. I use the word 'quickly' in a loose sense, since I never know what Eve has planned for public diaper changings. This changing table was a very nice Corian area of counterspace that had a full size mirror on two sides. Heaven for my little narcissist.

As soon as I laid her down, she popped up on her knees, pulled herself up onto the mirror and started kissing her reflection. I caught some of the ladies in the restroom giving me the "how disgusting that you let your daughter suck on a bathroom mirror" which I return with a big grin and my "why don't you come over here and try to do better" look. We exchange these glances because we are all from the South where you clearly don't say what is on your brain, if we were in the Northeast I'm sure the exchange would have been a little more vocal.

Anyway, back to my diva. She kissed herself during the entire diaper change and we hurried back to the gate. We are one of the last people to get on the plane just in time to see the 100% male first class look up, see daddy toss our diaper bag into seat 2B and sigh that "who brings a baby into first class" sigh.

As luck would have it, little bug decides to start to cry. So the glances get a little meaner in our direction, which I return with my "if you pay extra for the seats in first class, you can afford those noise canceling headphones" smile. We get a bottle ready to plug her when the flight takes off, but we can't hold off because she's really starting to get going. So I tell her she needs to coast on the bottle since she needs to drink some while the plane is going up so her ears don't pop. Of course, she downs the bottle when we are halfway up to the 10K feet mark. So I tell daddy to get a bottle of water ready to pour into the bottle. Which he does, after spilling some all over the two of us while the plane hits a bump.

So, little bug is trying to figure out how she just got a 16 oz bottle since she keeps sucking on it and it isn't ending. But, it quieted her down, the captain turned off the seat belt sign and I scooped her up and took her back to coach to walk around. I sit her down in an empty seat and decided to let her pull the magazines out of the seat pockets to entertain her. Her favorite toy of the flight was the barf bag. Once she found it, she wouldn't let go of it. So here I am walking around the flight with my little girl holding onto a barf bag like it is her life support system. It was instant "parent-dar", anyone who was a parent laughed and told me a similar story about their kid latching onto something gross, all the non-parents looked at me like I was the worst mother in the world. I've really come to enjoy that look of disgust that non-parents give me. I actually try to egg them on, I guess this is preparation for when little bug is a teenager and I need to be able to embarrass her.